"What could possibly go wrong?"

Anonymous Prime

"Hokie"
(best known photo)

Desperate to rescue the company's falling market share, Zirconia3.com president Anonymous Prime called for a nationwide manhunt for his predecessor, Michael Hoke. Problem was, the police never returned our calls and only one of our staffers bothered to help: the mailroom guy, who was hired after Mr. Hoke's departure, and thus free of taser scars.

Despite the apathy of Zirconia3.com staff and the authorities, Mr. Hoke wasn't actually hard to find— He'd been residing in the basement for the past year, living off vending machine sandwiches and leftover breakroom coffee while scrawling out pages for the RUST comic.

Not wanting to mess with a good thing, we made him Zirconia3.com president again (on paper, at least), just to keep him happy; but we made him stay in the basement, to keep the rest of us happy.

Anonymous Prime

"Hokie"
(best known photo)